Shards of a Broken Mirror
by SakuraLily
Summary: A broken mirror can't be put together again, but it still reveals the truth. A Hao fic.


**Shards of A Broken Mirror**   
By Lily 

Beta-ed by: Checkers and Crysi-sama. Thank you!   
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King or Hao. I wished I did though. :D   
Began: June 27th ,2003   
Finished: July 11th, 2003   
Notes: This is a Hao fic, just in case no one noticed. I don't think I outright state it in the fic itself so I thought I'd say so here. Heavy spoilers abound. ^_^ Comments, reviews or crit is welcome! 

  
  
Nostalgia   
------------------------- 

There is a song that he cannot forget no matter how hard he tries. It's not a very special song. Nothing about it stands out. It won't bring people to tears and it won't move mountains or part the sea, but to him, it is the most important song. 

It is the most important because his mother sang it to him. 

It is just a lullaby, but she sang it to him every night. The song he cannot forget. The memory he clings to and wishes it would disappear at the same time. 

The song he cannot forget. 

People who are restrained by the past cannot move on. They cannot grow. The more one struggles to forget, the harder it becomes to forget. 

  
Hatred  
------------------------- 

He hates them. 

He hates humans because they're meaningless creatures. 

They prey on and destroy everything they touch. Those that they cannot understand, they cast out. They're weak, but they pretend to be strong. 

He hates them. 

They've never wanted to understand. They've never cared because they're selfish. 

They hurt him. They hurt each other. They hurt the very planet that gives them life. 

They do not deserve to live. 

Sometimes killing is necessary. It is the only path. 

His hands are stained with blood, but he does not care. He is the one that became a murderer to execute the murderers, but he does not care. 

They fear him. They hate him. 

He hates them just as much. 

  
Pain   
------------------------- 

"Please spare us! We'll join you! We'll be loyal to you! Just please, don't kill us!" 

He watches them through half-opened eyes. 

They reek of fear and despair. He can feel it and hear it, he despises them. He hates their pain and their meaningless thoughts. 

They hurt him. 

Stop it. 

They speak these persuading words, but they don't mean them. He can hear their thoughts. 

_Demon. Murderer. I hate you. I wish I could kill you!_

He smiles and he can feel their hope, but he's disgusted with them. They're all liars and weaklings. They all deserve to die. 

The more beautiful the lie seems, the uglier the truth is. 

"Die." 

Everything is so bright and terribly beautiful as they're enveloped by flames. Light dances in his eyes. He can't hear their thoughts anymore. There's only a chilling silence. He adores this silence. 

They're already dead. 

  
Anger   
------------------------- 

Sometimes, he wonders why his other half won't join him. Sometimes, when he's staring into the flickering fire, he wonders why his other half doesn't understand. 

They're from the same soul. They grew from the same body. So why does he not understand? 

Sometimes, he becomes angry, jealous and bitter. 

Why can't he understand? 

Why can't anyone understand? 

Why does he have so much more? 

They are the same, but his other half has friends, family and someone who loves him. 

The anger and jealousy fills his heart and it feels as if he will break into many pieces. If he falls and shatters, would it stop the pain? He can't fall, though. 

He can't fail. 

It isn't fair. There's no one to catch him. 

But then, he remembers that life isn't unfair. Things are often like this. He takes a breath and everything fades into emptiness. 

He is still all alone. 

  
Grief   
------------------------- 

There's no one here. He hears nothing. 

There is no sound except for the inescapable beating of his heart. 

He hears nothing. They're all gone. 

Gone. Gone. Gone. 

It echoes endlessly in his head and he shudders. 

They've all left him. There's no one left. There's nothing. 

"Come back. Come back!" 

His screams are loud and full of pain. He knows they won't return no matter how loud he screams. 

He's crying, hot tears pouring down his face. He doesn't even notice. He's been crying all his life. His heart has always been crying crimson tears. 

Dead. His mother and Matamune are both dead. He cries and grieves. 

He can't mourn the world. He can't grieve for everyone. He can give no more. There's no one left to trust. 

He doesn't want to cry anymore. He won't cry anymore. There are no tears left. 

After all, there's no one left to cry for except for himself. 

  
Strength   
------------------------- 

"I will create a world for shamans. Come, join me." 

He's always strong, when he stands before someone else. 

His smile is always perfect. It displays his power and his confidence. 

Everyone needs someone to believe in. They've lost their trust a long time ago. He will be their savior. 

He knows their pain well. It washes over him in waves and sometimes, he wishes that he could break down and cry. But he has no tears and he is strong. 

Strong people do not cry. 

He never wavers because he believes in his strength. He believes in his goal. He will be Shaman King because he is the future king. 

If it is a lie, he has forgotten. He has made himself forget that it is a lie. 

He isn't lying to them when he tells them that he will change the world. He isn't lying to himself when he tells himself that he's doing what he has to. 

That is because he can't believe it is a lie. He has forgotten that it isn't the truth. 

It is the only truth he knows now. 

If one doesn't believe in oneself, how can one ask someone else to believe in one? 

He's always determined and unwavering when he stands before someone else. When he stands before someone else, but what happens when he's alone? 

He's always alone even when he stands before someone else, but he can't do anything else other than to believe. 

It's already too late to give up. 

  
Truth   
------------------------- 

He hates looking into mirrors. Mirrors reflect the truth too well. He doesn't want to be reminded of the truth. 

Staring at his own face, he thinks of his other half and in the reflection in the mirror is not his own. For a second, it is the smiling face of someone else. He's forgotten how to smile like that. 

The truth. 

The lies. 

The mirror cracks as he stares, his eyes are burning. Heat everywhere around him, but he's so cold. 

"Break." He whispers and the mirror shatters. 

For a moment in time, everything stands still. The broken shards pause in the air and there's a clear, sharp ring that echoes. 

There are fragments and pieces of glass all around him. Each reflects a different part of him. Each reflects his soul. 

Broken. 

His soul is incomplete, but it had broken a long time ago. One thousand years ago. 

The shattered pieces of glass fall to the ground. One piece after another, they ring loudly in his ears. Like a disjointed song. 

There is a song that he cannot forget no matter how hard he tries. 

He hums it at night before he sleeps and he cries in his dreams, but no one ever knows. 

When he awakens, he's forgotten his tears and the memories fade away for a little while. 

He never forgets that he's alone. Bound by memories of the past, he moves determinedly towards a dream that isn't real. Silhouetted by darkness and flickering flames, he's still all alone. He pretends that he's not alone. 

But the shards of cold glass upon the floor can only reflect the cold truth. 

Loneliness and despair. 

  
~Owari~ 


End file.
